Luke 3:16-20 - The main character in this drama

John is the most talented stagehand ever. The best extra. Imagine you're in a drama, and knowing that the main character's about to come, but you're still just as enthusiastic in your part as you physically can be.

Live generously, justly, and honestly today, as a mere stagehand to the main character in this drama.

Luke

Devotions on the book of Luke

Luke 3:16-20 - The main character in this drama
Luke 6:27-36 - No run-of-the-mill sinner
Luke 7:37-47 - Do you see this woman?
Luke 10:38-42 - Sitting before the Master 
Luke 12:25 - Living in God-reality
Luke 15:1-10 - Lost and Found
Luke 17:11-19 - Returning to say thank You

Mark 14:66-72 - Peter blows it

I tried to put myself in Peter's shoes, but it's quite hard to imagine. So I've just lost my most respected teacher, but I'm not allowed to show my depression, since I have to pretend I don't know Him. I'm also by myself, every one of my friends have left me. That's the setting we're in now.

So I'm scared, lonely, depressed, lost, angry(?) and disappointed. Suddenly, some woman comes and accuses me of being an accomplice of a "blasphemer" who was just executed. I would've done the exact same thing as Peter. Pretend to be clueless, to give myself time to think, then walk away from the area.

I blew it again recently. It's so hard not to. It's always just there as a distraction for me...

Mark 12:28-34 - The Big Picture

It's kind of getting boring now... I know I'm wrong, but I don't need this many reminders. It's not like I don't know, I just need time.

I guess I just don't love the Lord God with all my passion and prayer and intelligence and energy enough to get over myself. And I'm nowhere near loving others as myself. I feed, clothe, shelter, spoil myself, and I'm not about to do it to everyone. Mother Theresa seems so cool suddenly.

You're almost there, right on the border of God's kingdom.

Imagine a Pharisee being praised like that. If I were him, I'd be wondering this Jesus carpenter from Nazareth can say something so profound, and I've spent my entire life studying theology and yet I can't summarize it that accurately.

Mark 10:17-22 - Heartstrings

There's one thing left: Go sell whatever you own and give it to the poor. All your wealth will then be heavenly wealth. And come follow me.

We always read this story thinking that the young rich man missed the mark, poor guy chose to build treasures here rather than in heaven. But we not only miss the mark, we don't even hit his morals. It's not about the love of money, even though it's quite common for everyone. But it could just be anything that prevents us from following Jesus fully.

He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go.

No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you let God do it.

活著就是祭

Mannnn I'm so in love with this song...
Had such a meaningful day, there was nerding, food, group assignment, sport, and then more food.

I'm part of such a beautiful symphony that's so carefully written.
Just when I was feeling a little icky about missing out, You gave me it, legitimately.
What's a climax if there are no lows, right?
I won't treasure it as much if I can have lots of it, so I guess it's a good thing.


活著就是祭 
主唱：陳芷盈　作曲：朱榮達
填詞：朱榮達　編曲：嚴勵行

不猜想今天會不會得獎
我在何時如紅日發亮
心只想今天我可以歌唱
通通仰賴祢贈我的力量
一首歌必須以心唱得響
企在台前贏台下讚賞
將掌聲轉贈我所愛慕的神
理想別無他向

我知道
活著就是投入用情用力用我口
唱祢偉大奇妙救恩震懾這地球
莫說在台上唱即使捲入激流
亦要借用潮浪伴奏
我知道　祢已賜下無盡美善日夕伴我走
我要唱頌回謝厚恩傾出一生也不休
只想展露歌喉
為這地球鍍上一種　最精彩節奏

全人為祭　呈獻徹底　頌歌送遞
付出一切　唱出祢名　夢想開啟

Mark 7:24-30 - Take your turn

Stand in line and take your turn. The children get fed first. If there's any left over, the dogs get it.

What... Did Jesus just call that Greek woman a dog? I actually don't understand why He would say such a thing. But the woman's response was also as interesting.

Of course, Master. But don't dogs under the table get scraps dropped by the children?

If I were the Greek lady, I wouldn't have been able to stoop so low and admit that I'm a dog. All I want is a healing right? So, just tell me now I can't have it, and I'll go. You don't have to insult me and my people like that. But she got her healing for her daughter in the end, which is what she wanted. I don't know whether I agree with this whole thing but...

Mark 5:25-34 - Telling your whole story

This is one of the more memorable stories of the gospel, as I discovered in Matthew.

Well, the one thing that screamed at me this time, was the fact that Jesus took the time to listen to the whole story of the diseased woman. One minor detail that seems to be forgotten in this story, was the fact that Jesus was on His way to heal someone else. But He was patient enough to hear the entire story.

If I were the woman, I wouldn't want it to be that public, since the entire town probably knew of my condition before this. But this embarassing conversation in front of everyone will actually act as a declaration that I am now clean, so I can live my normal life again without being discriminated against. 

"Daughter, you took a risk of faith, and now you're healed and whole. Live well, live blessed! Be healed of your plague."

Mark 2:1-12 - Paralyzed and desperate

So cool. This is the exact passage we looked at in Sunday School today, even though I missed most of it due to teaching in another class.

The thing that I always miss is the fact that it's not the paralyzed one who came to Jesus. So the ones with faith are actually his 4 friends, the ones who brought him to Jesus. "Impressed by their bold belief, Jesus said to the paraplegic, 'Son, I forgive your sins.'"

How often do we bring people in need TO Jesus? There's nothing we can do, but we can always bring them to God through prayer. And I guess I need to start practicing my faith, as that's what healed the paralyzed.

I tried putting myself in each of those character's shoes (well, except Jesus and the Pharisees)... I think I relate to those in the crowd. Yep, the boring ones.

Jesus' purpose was to preach, but He heals randomly when people go up to Him for healing.

Mark

Devotions on the book of Mark

Mark 2:1-12 - Paralyzed and desperate
Mark 5:25-34 - Telling your whole story 
Mark 7:24-30 - Take your turn
Mark 10:17-22 - Heartstrings 
Mark 12:28-34 - The Big Picture
Mark 14:66-72 - Peter blows it

Matthew 27:45-54 - My God, why?

We're reading this book called The Jesus I Never Knew for discipleship class at the moment. Everytime I read about the death of Christ, it makes me uncomfortable all over. Our religion has so much humiliation of our God, and rejection from His people, and even His intimate Father. It's not pretty.

A week or two ago I had that dream about End Times. It really hurt when in the dream, most people from church chucked a Peter, because the few of us were left behind still doing His work and randomly getting captured. I think the worst thing about tribulation is not the persecution, it's the fact that those of your comrades who'd be supporting you, most of them might be raptured away. So then you're left here with the very few brave troopers, which is like a handful, then the rest of your so called brothers and sisters will probably ditch you. They'll dob you in, deny knowing you, not show you directions, not give you food, ignore you and it's just worse than not knowing anybody. The few of us left had no parents, because in the dream they were assumed to be raptured. When I woke up, my heart felt like it's all knotted up, like it was going to sink into my lungs.

That wasn't even a fraction of what Jesus' rejection was like, as the whole world turned their backs. The people who He served wanted Him dead. Then the Father abandoned Him as well, as He bored our sins. The biggest blow of all.

Matthew 25:31-40 - Overlooked and Ignored

When I read the passage, right before the end I was already expecting what was to come. I knew it. Why make me do something that's so difficult? Besides, nobody else seems to be doing it.

Can I maybe take care of all the other overlooked and ignored people? You see, if I cater for all of them perfectly, then there won't be anymore ignored people for others to take care of. Right? I can't be that selfish.

Also, it still remains a mystery how Jesus, You, say you exist in those who are overlooked, ignored, hungry, thirsty, homeless, shivering, sick, in prison... how? Can you maybe show your existence a little clearer, so it'll make my job easier? Because at the moment, I really don't feel like being nice, I'm too disgusted.

Matthew 21:12-17 - Jesus threw them out

Imagine you went overseas for a couple of weeks, and coming back home to a graffitied, vandalised house. I think I'd rage at life.

In the midst of Jesus' rage, he still had room for compassion, imagine being really frustrated and angry, then some crippled people ask you to help them. I'd include them in my rage, but Jesus heals them. Then these kids starts praising Jesus, and the religious leaders try to bag Jesus out. He must've felt angry, then compassionate, then touched, then angry again all in the matter of moments.

Do you hear what these children are saying?
Hosanna to David's Son!

Matthew 19:3-9 - The softened heart

So this passage on divorce comes straight after the parable of the unforgiving servant, who won't waive the debt of another man, but his master waived all of his HUGE debt.

Having a hardened heart, which ultimately leading to a divorce in marriage doesn't exactly apply to me, even slightly. But then again, we "divorce" many things in life... leaving projects, leaving a church, leaving a group of friends, leaving a work place, leaving a school, changing degrees etc etc. Some of those don't require our hearts to be that hard, while others need us to build our heart up like a fort. Imagine changing friends, I've had the privilege of staying with the same group of friends throughout High School, but it would've been a huge decision for the ones who change groups. Or leaving a work place. When I left CSO, I felt so empty. Right now, even though work is really far, and I'm really tempted to find a job at Towers, I don't want to change jobs because the people are so awesome. Imagine making the decision to leave.

Why are some things so bad, that we can't even attempt to tolerate? Hardening our hearts don't feel good at all, and yet I can recall a time when I had to do it very recently.

When the servant pleaded, "Give me a chance", there was mercy. I hope I can give mercy.

I remember

do u know that i'm OK?
are there things you wanna say?
thinking of u night and day
hoping you'll come back and stay
i remember when u told me I'll be all right
don't worry


i try and try to understand
is all this just a sad good bye?
thinking of u night and day
no matter if you'll come and stay
i remember when u told me i'll be all right
just hold me...


i don't wanna close my eyes tonight
missing u will make me cry
your love will give me strength to carry on
you'll always be my heart and mind
so i don't wanna close my eyes tonight
i know it's just a miss match in time... why.. oh why...
miss match in time...

Who is that singer? It's annoying me I want to know.

Had the scariest dream about end times the night before. Woke up with a heavy heart. Sometimes it's hard to visualise what it would be like to be suddenly rejected by your friends due to religion, even your brothers and sisters. But I guess my imagination did it for me, and it was scary. It's like a memory from the future.

Matthew 15:1-14 - A matter of the heart

God clearly says, 'Respect your father and mother,' and, 'Anyone denouncing father or mother should be killed.' But you weasel around that by saying, 'Whoever wants to, can say to father and mother, What I owed to you I've given to God.' That can hardly be called respecting a parent. You cancel God's command by your rules.

Funny how I miraculously skipped yesterday's devotion, so that I'd do it now. Sometimes I'm like a Pharisee myself. But often it's just so, so hard to respect parents, when our upbringing promotes fairness and logic. To us, the "right" way to do things would be whatever's the most convenient, or most efficient, or most reasonable, or most logical, or quickest or just generally more fair. Whereas the Asian culture promotes the idea that the higher up you are in the social hierarchy, the more "correct" you are.

So if an elderly lady preferred benches in the park, whereas the youths preferred a basketball court, then the correct option would be to build the benches. Even though the youths might use the park more.

I remember exchanging a conversation with my paternal grandpa.

Grandpa: You should wait until your mother is bored before you ask her to do this.
Me: But why? She tells me to help her sometimes, and when I don't go straight away, because I'm clearly the busier one, she yells at me for not acting immediately! It's either she does the same for me, or I get the luxury of choosing my own time to respond to her requests.
Grandpa: No you still have to wait.
Me: But why does she get special privileges? I'm the one who's tight with time!
Grandpa: Of course! She's your mother!

There is no required reason, it's not why it is, it's who we are. My upbringing is really, really making it hard to understand it. Please help me to see strengths, not weaknesses, and please humble my heart.

Matthew 13:10-17 - Eyes screwed shut

Your ears are open but you don't hear a thing. Your eyes are awake but you don't see a thing.

Matthew 11:28-30 - Walk with me

So much memories when I read this passage.

It's the same passage we did half a year ago. The topic was rest.


"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me."

Thinking back to my state of mind back then, I must admit that I'm definitely living more freely and lightly. Definitely more freely. Not too sure about lightly, because I'm still writing about 4 pages per day in my thoughts journal, which means I think a lot... right? But I remember I almost cried when I felt Jesus was asking me those questions, because I was definitely burned out. Now, not so much.

"Learn the unforced rhythms of grace."

Grace is like a rhythm. I like that analogy. Some people can grasp beats really easily, especially muso's and dancers. I believe we all walk in different speeds in every different shop according to the beat of the song they're playing. But for other people, it takes many different tries for them to get the hang of the beat, and it's almost unnatural just to bob to the beat. That's exactly what Jesus talked about in His sermons, some people hear it and prosper.  Some people hear it and that's it. We have to learn this rhythm. It's a concious choice to walk with Him and live freely and lightly.

Matthew 9:18-26 - Jesus the healer

Out of the two stories of healing, most people usually put more emphasis on the woman with the continuous discharge. Maybe because we can relate to how painful that experience might be, I mean, we only do 5 days compared to her 12 years. We already complain.

In Leviticus 15:25-30 it shows us more in context of what she's going through. She's an unclean woman who hasn't been touched or interacted with for 12 years of her life. Her existence was a curse. Similar to people who have disabilities or have a certain look to them, we instinctively have this sense of "eughhahua" about them and just want to keep our distance. Jesus not only healed her from her physical pain, but her emotional trauma. He encouraged and talked with her, she has probably experienced neither for a long time.

The faith of the official is huge as well. When Jesus got to the place, everyone was treating the girl like a dead person already. So for the official to run up to Jesus to invite Him over for healing, means that he had to endure the disapproval of his family members beforehand. They probably all talked about him behind his back, saying he's gone crazy from losing a daughter. Yet he still had enough faith to go all the way to Jesus.

Both these people are in situations without hope, Jesus was the last resort they could think of, but yet they both believed it would work for sure. We always have the head knowledge that Jesus can always pull us through, but we're not certain. We pray with the mindset that "Lord, if You are willing", which is good in itself, but come on, be honest. Whenever we say that, we're just doubting, and if it doesn't happen we blame it on "oh, because God didn't want it that way." We forget that Jesus is here to heal.

The way you move ain't fair, you know?

Sorry Train, I pulled a line out of your song, out of context.

Was in such a bad mood last night, because after being tripped over, pushed, leaned by that slightly larger girl from the other team, before she got fouled off she fit in another charge at my right arm. My shoulder/arm joint area was in pain whenever I moved my right arm. The way you move ain't fair, you know? So I spent the whole night feeling discontent.

So the feeling carried on into the morning, and mornings are the worst time of the day. Something really bad happened earlier today, and I had such evil assumptions about this person. Thinking they must've intentionally tried to trick me. In the end, I found out that it was just an honest mistake and that person had the best intentions for me. But there I was, silently assuming the worst about them.

Started my thought journal. I'll be carrying that around with me everywhere, even though my friends seem to think that I'll leave it on the train within a week.

Saw my friend being caught by the concession cityrail guards this morning, and he was getting fined. To save him the embarassment, I pretended not to see him and walked by really quickly without saying hi. Don't know whether it was the right thing to do.

Bought a new motherboard to revive my home Desktop, which has died. I've finally been convinced that spending $70 on an obsolete computer, in this financial situation of mine, is still more worth it than spending $1000 on a powerhouse. But while I was there at the computer shop, I impulse bought a $38 TV Tuner... at least I'm improving!

New Years Resolution Review - 2nd Month

I'm doing really well in the clean room department, probably the best kept resolution so far. Every Sunday. Well, except one. Here's proof.

Amazing, I am.

Lectures have started and 100% attendance so far! (it's been a day only but)

I saw a $648 42" Full HD LCD TV deal today, but restrained myself not to buy it. No splurging!

Getting up in the morning earlier is definitely going well, quiet time is awesome.

Haven't been able to sleep before 1am but. Hopefully once I get into the routine of Uni and work, like a regular routine, then that'd go well.

My Bible reading plan is fail but...

Matthew 9:9-13 - An invitation

"What kind of example is this from your Teacher, acting cozy with crooks and riffraff?"

It's pretty cool to read about this for quiet time, especially after we had a sermon about integrity, AND had a Sunday School lesson discussion on the Mardi Gras too. Maybe God's trying to say something to me... But I find all evidents supporting me in what I believed in!

As in... Jesus here is sitting amongst crooks and people who are considered evil, greedy and sinners. Yet He kept His integrity by being amongst them but keeping His colour. So He didn't compromise any part of His character to be like them, all He did was be with them.

Same with the Mardi Gras, right? We can be with them, as long as we don't promote them and do the same things as they do.

Also, coincidentally, today for Jwalking quiet time, we read Romans 15:1-7. Surprise, surprise, guess which verse screamed at me? "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." There are no "good people", and "sinful people". There's only God's people, and others. Before we became righteous, we were once sinners too, so what rights do we have to say that we have to keep our distance from these people? We aren't even righteous ourselves, we were only justified to be righteous.

"I'm after mercy, not religion."