Matthew 6:5-13 - Pray with simplicity

"Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace."

I guess the hardest part of praying is to let it remain a normal conversation, simply between you and God. Casual. We hear all these beautifully planned and presented prayers all the time, it makes us think that praying needs to sound like a convincing speech.

But even during private prayers, and everything's casual and toned down, it's still not right. It's so hard to keep the focus on God rather than ourselves. That's not a normal conversation... because who constantly talks about themselves with others? It just makes no sense.

Prayer is just a simple conversation between us and God, just because He's ablaze in beauty, we seem to always want to make our words sound relatively beautiful.

Matthew 5:27-37 - Live before God

"Lets not pretend this is easier than it really is."

So if my eyes sin, I should gouge it out. I'll have no body parts left very soon. But it actually works! A couple of months ago I'd say this splinter would've been poking right into me, so I tried to take the whole entirety of it out of my life. It may not seem like a good thing, but at least it's not bothering me anymore.


"Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body."
Lust. Reminds me of Leon Lai's song "my eyes want to travel". Maybe it's my upbringing, but yeah, perhaps I should cut down on it.

"And don't say anything you don't mean... You don't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace."
I think we get into the habit of saying really religious sounding things, because it makes us look better and makes other people feel more "Godly comforted". I always feel so cared for whenever people say they'll pray for me. But whenever I say that to people, most of the time I only pray about it for the first night, unless I put it down on my prayer points list, otherwise it'll just slip my mind. Nevertheless, it still feels good to say "I'll pray for you".

There are always those situations where I need to say things I don't mean. Well I don't need to, but I think I've become too comfortable in my facade, it's always easier to keep it up than to just let go and not act the person everyone expects you to be, right? Especially for me, maybe because I'm so bad at resisting pressure, I always try to impress people or pretend to be better than I am. Saying the right things, acting a certain way in different situations, hiding my weaknesses and actively changing them etc.

26 Feb 2010

It has been a hectic week indeed, not just because of Oweek.

So Monday, I went to the CCF stall at uni. As soon as I got there, I put my stuff down, got a few folders and went off to the mainwalk to do some snatching. An hour or two later, I went back to the stall, and the people manning the stall were the same two. It's a different feeling to what it was like 3-4 years ago for sure. There's nothing wrong with it, but I'm sure the older CCFers will get what I mean. I prayed for us pretty much straight away. But there's a point of thanksgiving and that is for the faithfulness of the members, and it's such a blessing.

I got told off, for prioritising worship team practise over youthgroup planning. My defense was, first in first serve, worship team practise was confirmed first therefore that trumps. Which is true, because the planning was only confirmed the night before. But I realised it was just an excuse. The honest confrontation really hit me, that my attitude really needs to be changed in the sense that I didn't even try to compromise my time at all. It clashed, and I left it. There could've been some attempts to negotiate times between the two events. Sorry, you're right. Because the next day I was late to fellowship. At 7:50pm I was already looking at my watch, but because we were chatting so happily and we were still eating, I just left it. In the end we got there at 8:45pm. What's wrong with me...

Wednesday, I found the iPod that I lost on Tuesday. It's so miraculous. It really pays to go that extra mile serving your brothers and sisters.

Last night I had an awesome chat with a very good brother of mine, but we're both busy people so we haven't caught up like that for probably over a year. Actually, that's an excuse because time can always be made to catch up with people. Anyway. I'm so inspired. You said that you hope your struggles can work as a reminder and a blessing so other people can benefit from it. I've already benefitted from your attitude in trying to overcome it. I think it's pretty cool, that there's so much trust in there, and we hold each other accountable. I pray that you will have the strength to do what God has called for.

My favourite Bible passage of the week. It's the 7am Quiet Time material for Wednesday:

"Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people." What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the LORD our God is near us whenever we pray to him? And what other nation is so great as to have such righteous decrees and laws as this body of laws I am setting before you today?

One more thing, my friend, yes, you, saw Minerva in London. I am SO jealous. There were also messages written to Minerva. If I had the chance of writing to Minerva, I'd praise and learn from her.
Point for thanksgiving, I was able to make my train today, for the first time in 2010.

Matthew 2:1-6 - The testaments, old and new

Jesus was a fulfilment of various prophecies mentioned in the old testament, which is the perfect proof that God is faithful. I remember last semester we watched this video about prophecies. Prophecies are the fulfilment of predictions through history.

History tells me that 90%+ of the Bible's prophecies have been fulfilled, Israel being a great example. History also tells me that most of the promises in my life have been fulfilled. What personal promises has God made to me, might you ask? Well, the fulfillment of the promise that His Grace is always enough. Whenever I look back into my past, even though I might not see it then, I always see your footprint. I, however, am not such a good promise keeper.

Thank You for answering all the promises, and keeping all of them. They've given me hope and faith that the ones that aren't answered yet, will be. It's just a matter of time. Israel waited over a thousand years for their fulfilment, Jesus came hundreds of years after the prophecies of a Messiah. I can wait.

God keeps His promises. Live in the truth that He is a promise keeper.

Matthew

Devotions on the book of Matthew

Matthew 2:1-6 - The testaments, old and new
Matthew 5:27-37 - Live before God
Matthew 6:5-13 - Pray with simplicity
Matthew 9:9-13 - An invitation 
Matthew 9:18-26 - Jesus the healer 
Matthew 11:28-30 - Walk with me 
Matthew 13:10-17 - Eyes screwed shut 
Matthew 15:1-14 - A matter of the heart 
Matthew 19:3-9 - The softened heart 
Matthew 21:12-17 - Jesus threw them out
Matthew 25:31-40 - Overlooked and Ignored 
Matthew 27:45-54 - My God, why?

Malachi 3:1-5 - Fit for God

"The glory of God is man fully alive"

What is it to be fully alive? When I thought about it, I recalled scenes of really fun parties, or when I'm just having such a blast with people.

Cleanness and purity were what Malachi would've chosen to describe being fully alive.

So the art of being fully alive, and pure before God. I have to first learn how to link the two together well. As modern day priests, I do believe one day the refining process will finish.

Patience is a virtue, with rewards

So... today I rocked up to Chatswood at 9am, even though I was supposed to start work at 10am. (I was hopeful that I could start work 1hour early and leave early, but I had bad luck today)

There's these grey lace up Peace by Piece canvas shoes from General Pants Co that I've been perving on for a while, they're $39.95 each. I thought that canvas shoes aren't worth that much, so I just look at it hoping one day it'll go on sale.

Today was my lucky day. They were marked down to $20, but only the white had my size. I thought about it for a while, and because the salesperson was nice, and I'm a salesperson myself I know how hard it is to serve people and be nice, I decided to go ahead to buy these white shoes.

So then I proceeded to the checkout, and they told me that it's actually buy 1 get 1 free footwear day or something. I thought, sweet! So I went ahead and bought a black pair of slip on's, because black mixed with white, is grey! Which was the original colour that I wanted.

So again, I went to the checkout. They told me that I get 3 pairs of free Peace by Piece socks because they come whenever you buy 2 pairs of Peace by Piece shoes. So for $20 I got 2 pairs of canvas shoes, one lace up, one slip on, AND 3 pairs of socks.

I'm so glad I waited before buying them!

Malachi 2:5-10 - Give life and peace

Chosen.

Chosen by God. We are chosen for the high calling of priestly work. Chosen to be a holy people.

In a way I guess I enjoy doing the work of a priest, and I'm glad there's still use for me even though I don't do it perfectly.

I saw something pretty cool today. It's an unexplainable feeling you get, when you see someone after you to enjoy being chosen to be a holy people. Is it pride? I'm not sure. But it's quite inspiring. Even though all that I've done has probably contributed to not even 1% of it, there's still that pride there. In a good way. My job is done!

21 Feb 2010

It's been one week since we've started the Jwalking quiet time service. All the leaders are in charge of a group of people in a specific timeslot, and we have to remind them through SMS's everyday to do their quiet time with God. I do 7am. It's been good for my 2010 resolution to wake up early and do devotion first thing in the morning, because I have to do it anyway.

Hope they actually find what I do useful, I don't want to do it in vain. And I don't want to fail again.

Today during devotion, I sang again beforehand. I haven't done that for a while, it feels good!

I went to my good friend's 21st yesterday. It's a style of 21st party that I haven't attended for a long time. Very God-ful. In his speech at the end, he said that he hoped the party is a good witness that our God is real. Because he has turned his life around, been blessed with so many brothers and sisters in his life etc. He also said that when he has his 80th birthday, he knows he'll say the same thing that his sole existence is the witness that God is real. Which kind of links to my devotion today, our history is the perfect proof that our God is faithful. It also makes me think, and realise... that my life is so full of You. I just need to see it more often.

I just saw something, "Fashion passes, style remains." I thought of You, I don't know why. Maybe because it sounds like the bit where it talks about the earth will fade away, but Your Word remains.

Christian song of the week: (I'm going to lead it this week, and I know exactly what I'm going to share about!!)

Oh heart of mine, why must you stray?
From one so fair you run away
And one more time you have to pay
The heaviness of needless shame

Oh heart of mine, come back home
You've been too long out on your own
And He's been there all along
Watching for you down the road

So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

Oh child of God so dearly loved
And ransomed by the Savior's blood
And called by name, daughter and son
Wrapped in the robe of righteousness


HF came back this week. Welcome home! You haven't changed much at all, which is a good thing. But you've grown, which is also a great thing. I can feel that everything you talk about, you just want to link it to where God is.

You came back too! Sometimes I'm just so lost of words, about how awesome friends from HGHS can be. Thank You for putting them in my life.

Had two significant dinners this week. With all my mentors on separate occasions. ARGH I'm so blessed.

Malachi

Devotions on the book of Malachi


Malachi 1:1-5 - A reminder of God's message of love
Malachi 2:5-10 - Give life and peace
Malachi 3:1-5 - Fit for God

Malachi 1:1-5 - A reminder of God's message of love

There's one simple message in the old testament. God loves us (or Israel, or people who are part of the Kingdom). History acts as the best proof of it, but yet we like to make the Bible into some complicated literature and we pry into every single detail of it.

But there's just 1 single message.

In my own history, I hope it reflects God's faithfulness. Some small portion of the huge blessings I've had, just as a reminder.

1. Blessings of such a happy childhood.
2. Numerous prayers answered
3. People
4. Comfort (every aspect)

I don't want to go on, it makes me cringe. But I'm sure when people look at my life, they won't relate it to Edom's description of "the God-cursed tribe!"

Verse 5 (the message) "Yes, take a good look. Then you'll see how faithfully I've loved you and you'll want even more, saying 'May God be even greater, beyond the borders of Israel!'"

A song line came into my head as I was praying. The one that we sang today "I want to be a light that shines Your name".

Zechariah 11:4-17 - Breaking the Beautiful Covenant

"Why is it God so often breaks our hearts?
"Well, sometimes He does it to increase our faith. That's the way He stretches us. But there's another reason, I think, why our hearts get broken... Usually, what breaks is what's brittle."

God broke the beautiful covenant He had with His people when He got tired of them. Scary thought.

But the scarier thought was the getting rid of the corrupt shepherds.

Zechariah 4:4-10 - Interested in People

"You're interested in religion. I'm interested in people."

It's such a fine line, I know there's definitely parts of me which are more interested in the religion than the people. Like when I do youth ministry, there are people who I'm interested in, and of course there are those who I'm  not. But what drives me to continue to serve the ones who I know I'm not genuinely interested in? Must be the religious part of it. It's habit to ask them how school is, and ask them about assessments and exams near the middle and end of the year, and buy them food, and play with them. Just a habit.

Other cool parts of religion that I like is probably the company, the fun and the atmosphere. I am actually having too much fun, maybe it's all a distraction.

Safety Bubble

On Tuesday we watched one of the best, wittiest films in history together, Love Actually. I was surprised that a couple of us actually hasn't seen it before. It was however, my 50th time or something.

Juliet: But... you never talk to me. You always talk to Peter. You don't like me!
My favourite character, Mark: (skip a line) It's a... self-preservation thing, you see.

Everyone has a different sized personal bubble. And I'm sure they're all justified. Needy people might have a small one, because they feel lonely. Secretive people might have a large one, because they feel ashamed of something. And of course, it largely also depends on personality.

Then comes the most beautiful part of the process. When someone invites you into their bubble, to find out about them more intimately. Don't get me wrong, this is nothing romantic, I'm just talking about the beginning of a true friendship. But there's a catch. Once you enter into their personal space, they are automatically entered into your bubble as well.

My safety bubble is ginormous. I don't know where I got that from, maybe because I'm une fille unique. But that means every time I go out of my way to get to know people, much before I'm even in close proximity to their bubble, they're actually already IN mine.

We were once in each other's safety bubbles. Well to me we were. Now, not so much. I'm sure we both agree. Well, thanks for the invitation again. But I'm scared to walk in, scared of what I might find, what I might see. Because, after all, it is a brand new bubble since the last time I was in there. Or, actually, it would be more accurate if I rephrased it to - But I'm scared to walk in, scared of what you might find, what you might see. Désolée. It's a self-preservation thing, you see.

遠看夜城靜悄連綿退後

假使你願意多留心這份情

都不會令這心流離變舊

明早你亦免帶淚和內疚

到午夜殘滅了黎明掠過後

請不要為我的離開多追究

祈求讓我擲碎心中所有

忘掉理由

Zechariah 2 - The proactive nature of God

So Zechariah started with this detailed vision in the book.

It kind of talks about how God wanted to pursue His people so bad, that He's willing to move into their neighbourhoods, which He did through Jesus.

It's cool how I just read Romans 8:28-39 with my Devotional group, and it talks about how nothing will separate us from the love of God. He sent His only son, to move into our neighbourhood. What won't He do for us? There's nowhere to hide from His presence. Because He actively seeks to be with us.

Zechariah

Devotions on the book of Zechariah

Zechariah 2 - The proactive nature of God
Zechariah 7:4-10 - Interested in people 
Zechariah 11:4-17 - Breaking the beautiful covenant

Haggai 2:1-9 - Handing out wholeness and holiness

We must "get to work". The amount of times this was said in The Message... it's actually an urgent matter.

Through the building up of His house, we will receive the giving of wholeness and holiness. But I'd like to think that might come through the process of building up of His house.

Haggai

Devotions on the book of Haggai

Haggai 1:3-11 - Turnaround Needed
Haggai 2:1-9 - Handing out wholeness and holiness

Person in Denial

A couple weeks back someone claimed that I'm a person in denial. Of course, I denied that claim. I'm not in denial, I'm just misunderstood.

But I saw something funny yesterday which made me wonder, perhaps sometimes other people think I'm equally as funny.

So once upon a time in the library, sat a soft spoken guy not much younger/older than me. I think he was reading a textbook of some sort. Three little primary kiddies were with him, I think they must've been his little cousins or close family friends, and one of them asked, "Why are you so nerdy? There's no pictures in that book!" The guy replied, "Not a nerd."

A while later, he was checking his phone and all the kids started teasing, "oooh, who are you messaging? Ooooh! Your girlfriend? You have a girlfriend!" And the guy straight away put away his phone and said, "don't have a girlfriend"

The library is now starting to get a little more crowded and noisy. A kid said, "Justin (fake name, because I forgot that person's name) wants to buy hot chips!" The guy goes, "I hate chips." And a kid says, "But! You lurrrrrrrrve us!" All three kids started laughing hysterically with their bodies on the table but at the same time trying to be quiet in the library. Meanwhile the guy just calmly says, "No, I don't." After more nagging by the kids, I think he gave in, and asked me to mind their things for them on the table.

A very long while past, they came back and the kids were high on life, but I think the guy just wanted to study. Even I was getting a bit distracted by the kids, and suddenly the guy says, "hey shush" to the kids. One of the girls was like, "so mean!" And the guy goes, "How am I mean? I'm never mean." A kid says something like, "You told us to shut up." "No, I said shush." "But that's still mean!" "I just bought you chips, I'm nice." "That was only because you luuurrrrve us!" "No" But the kids were laughing hysterically on the table again.

Then I left for dinner before basketball.

During all of these events, I had to try and not laugh and concentrate on my French.

Maybe some people just like to argue with others, but those would've been the exact answers of mine if I were in that situation too.

Haggai 1:3-11 - Turnaround Needed

We spend so much time and effort trying to plan for our lives. I need to do well academically to sustain a stable income, which means I'll have a comfortable life in the future. I also need to train my fitness so that later on, I won't be sick as easily, and I'll live a healthier life for longer. I need to be nice to people otherwise our lives would be quite difficult later on seeing them everyday but they hate you.

While the house of God has members reaching 300, not many of us are wholeheartedly building it. Our homes become more glamourous, but how's God's house like? I actually don't think our church is all that bad, I quite enjoy our group cleaning sessions. And I remember how we used to all work together to fundraise for the church, everyone donating their furnitures in and things like that.

But looking at our offering sometimes seems so ridiculous. Help us to have a turnaround in our attitude. Don't let stinginess consume us, because otherwise we'd be serving ourselves or money already.

15 Feb 2010

So it's the day after CNY, which coincides with Valentine's Day as well.

Someone asked me if that day still bothers me, I don't think so. But me being "célibataire" seems to bring joy to people when I whinge, so maybe it's not at all that bad =)

It's been like the 3rd week in a row when we've split up to different places to eat. Maybe it's not that healthy. Our shepherd has spent a lot of effort in trying to unite us, and we've come a long way. Sometimes I become selfish, and want to indulge in better food, and I'm not willing to compromise that just to be together. Perhaps it's time to change.

I hate it when things clash with each other. They're all good things on their own. But once they clash, you have to  force yourself to prioritise them correctly otherwise it might be a bad example, or people might stumble. Why do You present us with all these choices? I'm sure You could have put them on separate days. I know it's our fault for forgetting about it when we planned, but still!!

You are pretty awesome. I've just never took the time to envy myself of all the blessings You've given me, especially the people You put around me. I'm such a brat.

But then, You also plaaced such wonderful role models for me... How the heck am I supposed to reach such a high standard?!

Start of another devotion group thing, which is part of Jwalking. There's 8 people including myself, I hope I don't fail halfway like I failed the other time. Give me strength to do it everyday. 7am is kind of good for my 2010 resolution too.

Going to dinner and watching the show with you alone, eh? We really have come a long way mending. Pray nothing goes wrong.

Last week You gave me so many opportunities to spend time with my family. I have so much.

There's too many people now, it's all becoming too much. What have You got planned?

Project Timebomb

So it's been a decade since we've started and finished this project, and it lasted 13 weeks.

True I've skipped days. Actually I might've even skipped more days than the days when I followed the prayer plan.

But thank You for changing my attitude.

I totally forgot about this project until this morning when You reminded me, and inspired me to use this as a Godly example to share about. Especially after yesterday's sermon about our actions of sharing Your love is what makes love complete.

Zephaniah 3:9-13 - At Home in God

The way that Zephaniah puts it, sin and holiness are reflected by our language.

"In the end I will turn things around for the people. I'll give them a language undistorted, unpolluted..."

Looks like it's time to clean my mouth. Don't burn my lips with coal please.

The end of the passage is quite interesting... these holy people, they don't use words to flatter or seduce. And they're content with who they are and where they are. It doesn't seem to really illustrate me right now, but that's okay. We'll start with my tongue.

Prejudice

I have so much prejudice against dirty things...

My family went to have lunch in the inner west, the streets were filthy, the shops were seedy and the people didn't seem hygienic. After lunch, we went on a grocery expedition... When I picked up an item in the shop, this unidentified goo went on my hands... I thought I was just unlucky. So I picked up the one next to it which was seemingly clean, but the bottom was brown. Those dirty places are just so filthy and uninhabitable...

It seems like a long time since we just hung out afterwards at night. I almost forgot how chillaxing it is.

Zephaniah 2:3-10 - God shows up

I think we've all grown up in the midst of other people's taunts, self-importance, pride and mockery. When we read passages like these, we think of Moab and Ammon as them baddies. Never us.

We see ourselves as Judah, being rescued by God in our everyday lives from our evil bosses, or mean frenemies, or just our peers in general.

Know that through our God's consistency, that we will relive Judah's experience whenever we're suffering from humiliation.

Zephaniah 1:7-11 - The balance between being just and being merciful

This reminded me of the sermon about who God is. Whether He's like Santa, or whether He's always angry.

Can God be merciful AND just at the same time? Because being just means He needs to show us our sins and our short comings, but doesn't that go against mercy?

Complacency and rebellion.

But I can feel what love truly is, because through my complacency and rebellion, I am still blessed. Due to His mercy. Justice is given through as blessings, when He shows me my rebellion and guilt, but am forgiven for it.

Zephaniah

Devotions on the book of Zephaniah

Zephaniah 1:7-11 - The balance between being just and being merciful
Zephaniah 2:3-10 - God shows up
Zephaniah 3:9-13 - At home in God

Habakkuk 3:1-6 - Holy Judge, Remember Mercy

Let my fears and pride be exposed for what they are, and keep them from distorting my picture of who you are.

New Years Resolution Review - 1st Month

I'm eating out less. But I still splurge. And I don't read the Bible regularly enough to keep up with the plan... and apparently I don't sleep before 1am either. But the morning thing is somewhat working. And my room is bloody clean.

Today was a fairytale

My friend showed me this song yesterday, now it's in my head. But today was a fairytale indeed.

26-5, or was it 25-6? Either way, we won our first game!!!

I saw something beautiful today, mankind are definitely God's most proud creation.
Well, at least the ones around me. Mostly.

What am I doing? Why do I need to keep up that image? Maybe it's because last time when I disappointed you guys, the expression on your faces killed me.

There's this dream I keep having... well I don't know whether it's a dream that I'm driving myself. One year, eh? And then comes the change? It might be a good break. It makes me wonder how long it takes for people to forget someone who you call "significant" in your life. Someone who you think, at this very moment in time, you will never forget. From experience, once they leave or go overseas, maybe 3 or 4 years max with minimal contact will be enough for them to become just another name. Unless of course if they're Heroes of Old, like those in my life. How tragic would it be if I took like a tenth of the time.

I feel so focused and productive now. The blame was never supposed to be put on anybody but.

Months of planning and weeks of preparation, was all for 5hours. But those 5 hours made me see so much that I missed previously. Well all the prep work did too. I'm so blessed.

Your issue really bothers me. Maybe I'm just being childish... but I thought I got there first...


Today was a fairytale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark grey t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
You've got a smile that takes me to another planet
Every move you make everything you say is right
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
All that I can say is it's getting so much clearer
Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around
Yeah yeah

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale


Time slows down whenever you're around
I can feel my heart
It's beating in my chest
Did you feel it?
I can't put this down

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale