John 3:1-21 - Trusting and Expectant

This is a really famous story, we've all heard this a million times from Sunday School, and we always think that Nicodemus is kind of thick for not understanding the concept of "born from above" in the unworldly kind of way. But come to think of it, I'm even worse than Nicodemus.

It's one thing to know, but another to understand.

I think lately, my attention has been captured by many other things. Or one thing mainly. I know what it's like to be trusting and expectant, but I just need to shift the trust to the right place.

I'm at it again. I thought I've escaped from being bound by the last thing, and as soon as I'm free, comes a new one.

But anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is.

I can't take my mind off it. What's going on...

John 1:12-18 - Life-light

I can't really concentrate today. This is definitely not where we're meant to be. It's not right.

No one has ever seen god, not so much as a glimpse.

John

Devotions on the book of John

John 1:12-18 - Life-light
John 3:1-21 - Trusting and expectant
John 5:1-9 - Do you want to get well?
John 8:1-11 - No Condemnation
John 10:1-18 - Knowing the Good Shepherd
John 12:20-36 - Holding on to Life
John 14:15-17 - The Friend
John 17:20-26 - One heart and mind
John 20:19-29 - Take your finger and examine My hands

Luke 24:1-12 - Looking for the living one in a cemetary

Who's Joanna?

Luke 22:47-53 - Healing the Enemy

Jesus said, "Let them be. Even in this." Then, touching the servant's ear, he healed him.

Luke 17:11-19 - Returning to say thank You

Lately I've been forgetting to give thanks. How slack of me. Thank you for all the small things that You grant me, and restoring a lot of my relationships. Just this morning, I received 80% for micro, which is something that I haven't seen for a long time. But I forgot to give thanks, all I did was rejoice and think about how to reward myself with EasyWay and yoghurts and cookies and muffins. Sigh. Sorry!

But then again, You still haven't healed my "leprosy" yet. It's like Paul's prick. It's forever here. Heal me, please.

I see all these thanksgiving people around me, it's like the first thing they think about is You. They seem to be able to link everything to You. *envy*

Can none be found to come back and give glory to God except this outsider?

Action: Everytime you make a request, turn around and shout your gratitude.

Luke 15:1-10 - Lost and Found

'Celebrate with me! I've found my lost sheep!' Count on it - there's more joy in heaven over one sinner's rescued life than over ninety-nine good people in no need of rescue.

I'm back! How's my celebration? Was it an awesome party? Sorry I keep running off everywhere.

Steppin' into a doorway in my mind,
This is where you live,
It's where you live,
I forgot the things that I could find,
I have not been in here for years.

High.

I climbed the stairs that hide beneath the vines,
I walked through the over-growth of time,
Up to where we sat in clouds of smoke,
Up to when we swam in pools of hope.

High
And all the while I'm looking for your half smile,
Something that will show me that you are still around,
And all the while I'm looking for you half smile,
Something that will show me that you still know me,
Yeah you still know me.

Further on the pavement starts to crack,
This is where we fell, it's where we fell,
Where smoke turns to haze,
I hesitate, and I choose to lead the way I came.

High

Outside it's overcast and visions hard to find,
But the memories will be my guide,
Cause even though I know our skins have changed,
The colours that we share, they still remain.

High

And all the while I'm looking for your half smile,
Something that will show me that you are still around,
And all the while I'm looking for you half smile,
Something that will show me that you still know me,
yeah you still know me.

Step into a doorway in my mind,
This is where you live Daniel.

Luke 12:25-34 - Living in God-Reality

So I just came back from Starbucks, I had coffee with Jesus. Well, He possibly  had coffee, but I'll stick with a mango thickshake, thanks.

Jesus said that God will do His best for me. Like those wildflowers that are not even seen, they not only get the provision (water and sunlight) that they need, they also get to be pretty for doing nothing. It's finally hit me. Why are flowers so pretty by doing nothing, when some people have to try so hard to just be half as pretty? It's because the beauty of these flowers purely scream the Glory of God. That's why.

What I'm trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God's giving.
Wow. This is totally unrealistic, but I imagined a Caucasian Jesus sitting next to me at Starbucks sipping His coffee, and saying that in the Hollywood American accent with a zen voice. To be honest, I don't even know why I do it. Nothing's cheaper than free. But why do I always want to get my own thing rather than wait for God's provision? This is too unAsian of me.

People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provision.
Deep. Your zen voice really works.

You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don't be afraid of missing out. You're my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself.

Action Point: The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.

07 May 2010

It's May. And it's only been a week since camp.

What could have happened that was big enough? I still can't really believe it. To be honest, it's not one of my biggest nightmares. I've contemplated the impact of it if it were someone else and not you. But I've always just thought you were tired, drained out. And now it's kind of hit me, and I never thought it would even affect me. What is going to happen now? I dreamt about you this morning. It was kind of the sequel to the last dream, when you were raptured and we weren't.

In Bible study there was this thing that I thought was quite interesting. Why is Jesus a better High Priest than all of Aaron's descendants? But that wasn't the thing that struck me the most. It was the chart comparing Melchizedek's order and Aaron's... We did that like a year ago only, and I've forgotten already. I really aren't as close as I thought I was.

Awkwardness yesterday. I really did try, I promise. But it wasn't meant to be. And I'm not some saint. Sorry... I'll try a little harder next time, if there is a next time. I know I've been so slack, so lazy, but I'm tired and You know that... right?

New Years Resolution Review - 4th Month

- Keep my room clean for the entire year (kind of)
- Actually listen in lectures and do tut work (nope)
- Distinction Term WAM (nope)
- Save up for a car (nope)
- Eat out less ($10- for lunch, $20- for dinner) (no damn way)
- Keep a personal budget (no splurging) (sigh)
- Reread the Bible cover to cover (nope)
- Get up 1 hour earlier every morning (yeah perhaps)
- Sleep before 1am (nope)

Wow. Fail.

Guess my room is pretty clean in general, but I just can't help but randomly splurge... still... even though I'll be jobless soon.

My job and my car

Well, I guess You answered my prayer in a weird way, but it kind of all makes sense.

So, I was praying about whether to quit my job and look for one closer to home so I can have a little more time. This job also gave me too many hours to have a good balance. Then there's the issue with a car, how I want a European car.

My job's now finishing up on the 17th of  May. I need a break. I remember when I lost my first job, and I frantically went to look for another job. And now I've totally forgotten the reason why I think I lost my first job. I'm in a hurry again. I really need a break.

This solves the car issue too, because I can't afford to pay off a car anymore. So I guess, it's all in Your right timing. I'll also need to eat out less possibly, and buy less things. I'll need to live that basic life again. It'll be hard to adjust.

But I just need to trust that Your thoughts are higher than mine. Always.

Luke 10:38-42 - Sitting before the Master

This is such a familiar passage, and I've always known that I'm more of a Martha than I am a Mary. But why? In the beginning of my quiet time, I was kind of still in a hurry, wanting to put myself in the shoes of Martha and Mary and figuring out exactly what they thought. That's not what I was supposed to do at all... I'm worse than a Martha. Not that Martha's bad.

Martha is practical, all she wanted to do was to welcome and serve Jesus. She's preparing all this stuff in the kitchen, just because Jesus came. She's kind of like, more religions. Mary, on the other hand, is more spiritual. First thing she does was to sit beside Jesus and listen. It took me a while to understand this. But Mary actually put her life on hold, just because the Master is here. Martha comes in accusing Mary of leaving the kitchen to her, but that's actually a compliment, because Mary was able to put aside "the world" (which I guess often includes good things and good intentions too) just so she can enjoy Jesus. Enjoyment. That's the bit that took me a while to get.

I focus a lot on how I can serve better, what I can do to have better effects, a bigger impact. Like how Martha's probably working really hard in the kitchen to cook up a storm for Jesus. But I need quiet time. Time alone with Jesus, just to sit before Him. Why is it so hard for me to not be in such a hurry?

Live past the past

People keep accusing me of living in the past. It's not like I really have a choice with how my mind works. If you think you can help me control how it works, then stop trying to remind me of the past.

Then there are those people who keep accusing me of excess living. Like getting new things to replace perfectly fine old things.

Make up your mind. Cuz I have.

He likes me for me

I really like the verse of the day today.

"if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”- 2 Chronicles 7:14

That's what our Lord told Solomon at night. Details in 1 Kings 9:1-2. I remember teaching that passage. But I don't do it.

What He sees, are my most rending desisions, my insecure conditions, and the tears upon the pillow that I shed... Why does He waste all His time with me? there must be something there that I don't see, I don't see.

Sigh... I'm so stupid.