8 Jun 2010

There's this book... Refueled. I read through half of it already, yeah, I need to be refueled. I've gone on turbo for far too long, and much too quickly. And now I'm running on empty, but not going into petrol stations. What the hell am I doing?

Thank You though, for randomly leading me into Koorong. Finding Refuel and Sanctus Real. I know exactly what I have to do to please You, but I also know what I want. And I don't know why You never, ever give it to me. I know I always forget to pray for the things that I'm supposed to, like now I've just neglected so, so much. But the one thing that has been consistent, why have You never healed me...

When I was listening to Sanctus Real in the car, I can hear You singing "I'll show you how to live" to me. I almost... You promised that it'd be better than this. Show me again!!!!

I heard the sound of your first breath
A brand new life on your mother’s chest
A beating heart, expectant eyes
On the first day of your life
I saw you take your first step
And I watched you run with no regret
To chase your dreams and find true love
And the best is yet to come

So come with Me
I’ll show you life
Even better than this
Come with Me
I’ll show you love
You didn’t know could exist
Better than your first crush
Better than your first kiss
I’ll show you how to live

Remember how you felt from across the room
When you realized someone had eyes for you
And the way your heart sang cuz you believed
You were worth something

So come with me
I’ll show you life
Even better than this
Come with me
I’ll show you love
You didn’t know could exist
Better than your first crush
Better than your first kiss
I’ll show you how to live
Oh, I’ll show you how to live

Cuz I created your heart
That makes you feel
I am the love that makes it real
Oh, I am the One, I’m the One, I’m the One
I am the One, I’m the One, I’m the One

So come with Me
I’ll show you life
Even better than this
Come with Me
I’ll show you love
You didn’t know could exist
Better than your first crush
Better than your first kiss
I’ll show you how to live

Cause I am the One, I’m the One, I’m the One
I am the one, I’m the One, I’m the One

John 5:1-9 - Do you want to get well?

Sigh... I'm back. Guess we all know that I've fallen out, need time off. Here I am, sitting paralyzed at Bethesda but not wanting to get healed. I enjoy, actually, I loved not being spiritually healthy. I'm doing all that I want, this is the life that I've been missing for four years. Back to what it's like in highschool, just following my heart, no responsibility of setting a good example.

Oh, what am I doing... One more week. This Friday will be my first and last day off. Then I'll be back. Maybe.