30 Apr 2010

Think it's time to reflect back on camp before it's too late, and I forget everything.

So this camp wasn't like the other ones we've had. It wasn't "awesome", like I hyped it up to be. The food was bleuah as usual, and the accommodation... we were kind of far away from our conference room and the food. It was kind of annoying travelling everywhere. Most people spent their free time studying, while I spent my free time attempting to study.

But something that I really liked was how we don't have any barriers. As in... when we played Monopoly Deals, there were primary kiddos, juniors, seniors, uni kids, workers... all playing together. This is what we all chose to do, as it was free time. It's different to when other churches say how they bond so well during activities, when the groups were chosen for them. Also, when I was bullying someone into cleaning my plates up for me, everyone else pounced on that guy to carry their stuff. Then 2 girls came over and offered to take everyone else's so he wouldn't be swamped. I don't know, but I think we've come pretty far.

Something to bring home - no, not 186,000 miles per second is the speed of light and 5.88 trillion miles is a lightyear. It wasn't Betelgeuse, Mu Cephei nor Canis Majoris either. But the importance of slowing down. We had this workshop for people in a hurry, no surprises there I ticked all the boxes for symptoms. Maybe that's why I have random PMS moments when my self discipline wanes.

Will practice: no watches, don't compare faster lanes when driving or shopping, don't look at the time, always say no, do things earlier.

I'm not sure if anybody else noticed it, but when everyone started doing the whole "woah, woah, woah slowwww your roll!" thing, it was after our workshop and I reckon that was pretty cool.

In my world, I'm a giant. Everything's about me. But I'm actually so insignificant. Earth, or even the Milky Way, is nothing compared to the rest of the universe, and that's only talking about the Known Universe, as we keep finding new stuff. I liked how Louie Giglio kept zooming out to different planets... to show how small Earth is. But yet, we're actually quite big... Because even before creating us, the salvation plan was already there. We mean a lot. We are probably giants in God's heart. And that diagram about how the ray of sunlight goes past Earth... it's so precise. Imagine if Earth were a few degrees off its angle, or a little closer to the Sun or a little off from the Sun. We'd either freeze or melt, or live without sunlight. That's how much effort He spent in making our perfect place to live.

Action Point: To live small, like what I'm supposed to be.

你們親近神, 神必親近你們

I remember that song I wanted to lead last time, but was shut down.

Center of Attention by Jackson Waters
You want your independence
But you wont let me let you go
You wanna test the waters
And leave it on the empty shores


But I'll take my time if you want to
And I'll give you what ever you need
And I'll wait a lifetime to give it to you
Give in to you


You think that you're the sun
The whole world revolves around you
The center of attention
And everything is drawn to you


But I'll take my time if you want to
And I'll give you what ever you need
And I'll wait a lifetime to give it to you
Give it to you


I would wait a lifetime
And I would wait for you

I would wait a lifetime

And I would wait for you

But I'll take my time if you want to
And I'll give you what ever you need
And I'll wait a lifetime to give it to you
Give it to you

I Adore - The Musical

Who do you vent to when you're frustrated?

We're so lucky we have you guys. Wish I could do more...

Actually, I think just heard my rib cages crack open. Why is my tongue sticking to the back of my mouth... and my face screwing itself up?

Luke 7:37-47 - Do you see this woman?

Think I'm like the pharisee.

Dance with my grandma

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My grandma would lift me high
And dance with my grandpa and me and then
Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs she would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with her
I'd play a song that would never ever end
How I'd love love love to dance with my grandma again

When I and my grandpa would disagree
To get my way I would run from him to her
She'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my grandpa said
Later that night, when I was asleep
She left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that she would be gone from me

If I could steal
One final glance
One final step
One final dance with her
I'd play a song that would never ever end
Cause I'd love love love to dance with my grandma again

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
I'd hear how my aunty cried for her
I'd pray for her even more than me
I'd pray for her even more than me

I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only one she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying to dance with my grandma again

Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream

Concrete Angel

Emo songs streak. No! Stop beating her >< *shivers*

She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she's loved concrete angel

New Years Resolution Review - 3rd Month

It's been a disaster to try to keep my room clean since I rearranged it, and then uni happened. But this week I'll definitely clean it!!!

Then I'm also failing in every single other new years resolution. Great :)

What to do

I hate making decisions... Should I finish off my assignment and risk a riot since it's the 3rd time I'm dogging this week? Or should I go have fun and then have another sleepless week?


There was a comment said to me on Saturday night that's bothering me... There was a bunch of us left late that night after the event, mainly leaders, and we were getting introduced to this other leader who visited our Gospel Night. "He leads at his church and does pretty much everything. He's like the Hannah of Penno". What image am I building up... must stay low key... low key... Brother, I'm trying, I think I'm progressing already.

When a sister left her church, she took a year of cooling down from serving, then another year of no serving, so that it's not an abrupt departure when she leaves. My planning is pretty bad... I kind of don't have 2 years any more. What to do now... I still have 8 months of my "1 year pact". Then that'd only leave me 11 months. Hmm...


I haven't done face to face outreach for a while now. I'm kind of starting to forget the feeling of rejection already. So soon? I only have 3-4weeks left now to strike, and I've done nothing yet.


This Sunday I must run. It'll be a great opportunity to chat methinks.

I'll live here one day.

Or here...

This is okay too...

Who needs beaches when you have glaciers?

And... I once made a wish.

Luke 6:27-36 - No run-of-the-mill sinner

To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst.

I can't do it. I guess before you love your enemies, first you have to love randoms... that in itself is hard enough. But I never thought about it that way, like when you lose out, you're actually winning intangibles like respect and integrity. I should start adding to my character.

If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practise the servant life.

This is a great inspiration. Unfair advantage... and the servant life. A servant does things for the well being of their master...