My dearest brother

There has been one instance when I thought that you'd no longer be alongside me. But I don't think it hit me back then.

Dude, this is really scary. If I'm not standing in the middle of Westfield at the moment, I think I'd be crying.

Even though I came to Sydney before you did, I don't think I can recall much memories where you weren't there in the background, even if you were just in the very far background.

You were there when I received my first calling. Best MC partner ever, we didn't even need scripts to work together. We planned the camp together, and we are still planning another camp together. You turn my nonsensical ideas into workable and practical games or plans. You are the first person I go to with anything related to youth or camps.

In September, on that Saturday... You are the best comforter ever, yet you don't really say anything. You shoot my hyperactiveness down when it's appropriate, just to bring my feet back on the ground. But you're always game to go all in to have fun when it's appropriate too.

The email you sent, to me personally it was really necessary. It's not about who's right and who's wrong. It's about having the trust built up enough to share about anything, and voice out any concerns. When you were shot down, I felt so disheartened. We actually did the wrong thing, and you were there to tell us, like what prophets did back in the days.

How can I ever lead youth without you, and plan the camp, and plan games, or plan programs. I can't picture BHCAC without you, at all. Don't do it... please... you're the best brother I got...